Waiting for You Read online

  But now that we are here and free to be honest, Ahmla and I are here to serve you. Shields to protect should you need us, swords to strike where you order, and whatever else you desire.

  Should you wish to make use of us, take a walk in the gardens this evening, and we will settle the details of the matter. If you prefer we take our leave, do not come, and we’ll be gone by tomorrow evening. If you are unable to come to the garden, send to the kitchens for a late repast of bread, cheese, and pears, and we’ll know to speak with you another time before assuming we should leave.

  So you know we can be trusted and mean everything we say, I leave you with these words your mother bid us convey to you as proof: you first fell in love at fourteen with a girl in the village who died six months later of the wasting disease. Many knew you adored her, but only your mother knows the little box you placed on her pyre contained a lock of your hair, a wooden hair comb carved with bees, and yellow rose petals.

  Yours most faithfully,

  K

  Heart beating rapidly in her chest, pounding in her ears, Shanna cast the letter into the fireplace, braided back her hair, and firmly knotted her robe. tThen informed her bodyguards she was going alone for a walk in the garden. One of them would shadow her anyway, but he’d keep his distance, and she would be able to speak privately with Kallaar.

  She had an ally. A real, true ally—and somebody she already knew and trusted, despite the deception all these years. Part of her still wanted to be angry they had lied, but Kallaar was right: if they’d told her the truth, then it could have been found out by someone else.

  On the other hand, it was also disappointing, far more disappointing than she liked admitting, that Kallaar was only pretending to be a suitor to actively help her. It had been much easier to deal with him as a mischievous, flirtatious merchant who would always be at a distance. She’d spun fanciful thoughts here and there, safe in the knowledge they’d never be reality.

  But Kallaar was a prince, which meant so many impossible things were in fact possible…except that Kallaar was only here under orders, here to keep a promise. Had he meant any of his flirtations, or were they just one more part of his guise?

  Oh, it didn’t matter. She had to marry to help her kingdom, to stop Mercen before all his years of plotting finally came to fruition. No good would come of letting a harmless infatuation spin out of control because Kallaar was more than he’d seemed.

  Because Kallaar and Ahmla were more than they seemed, but that was a path she absolutely was not going down. There was hopeless and then there was hopeless, and Shanna did not enjoy making herself miserable.

  She’d just settled on a bench by the little water fountain and fish pond when she heard footsteps. Her heart kicked up another notch, and Shanna clenched her fingers in her lap to keep from reaching fretfully for the collar of her robe.

  Kallaar came around the corner and stopped short as he saw her, surprise overtaking his face. “My apologies, Your Highness. I was too restless to sleep, but I did not mean to intrude. The guards said I might walk about, though the gardens are usually restricted.”

  “Suitors are permitted some privileges, including access to the royal gardens,” Shanna replied. “Please, come and converse with me, and maybe we’ll cure one another’s restlessness.”

  Smiling, he approached as bid, but sat on the grass a few paces away instead of beside her. “You have a beautiful home, Highness. I’ve always enjoyed my visits here, with the mountains, the much-cooler air, so many lakes and rivers, all the flowers and plants so different from those back home.”

  “Thank you.” Shanna smiled. “I always wondered how a peddler came to speak such excellent Remnien, when all the others I know usually have much heavier accents or pick up the dialect of where they first learned it, and yours is very schoolroom neutral.”

  Kallaar laughed. “I always worried that would give me away. My eldest sister is much more skilled with languages. My father is quite stringent about his children knowing multiple languages. I speak three in addition to my own. Between my five siblings and I, we speak about twenty-one different languages. I admit it’s been a useful skill, but I’ve never admitted that to my father because it would make him smug.” His smile widened when Shanna laughed. “I hope my gift was not rude or considered some form of cheat.”

  “That is for me to decide, and I find it acceptable,” Shanna said. “Where is Ahmla?”

  “I made him go to bed. He does not sleep well when we travel, and I can protect myself in an empty garden—generally speaking, anyway.” He winked. “Mostly I’m so much smaller than my attackers, I can slip through them and run, and having grown up the second youngest in a large family, I am very good at running away from people bigger than me.”

  Shanna laughed again. “Somehow, that does not surprise me.” She gave a slight shake of her head. “I still cannot believe the bratty little trader who’s always flirted with me is a prince come to help me under pretense of courtship.” Her levity died abruptly. “Which reminds me—my stepfather wasn’t pleased when you were presented. He reprimanded me more than once to stop wasting so much time flirting with a vulgar, foreign peddler. I think he must have made certain you were what you claimed, so your deception was a good one, but now he knows you lied all these years, and probably thinks we’ve slipped some scheme past him. At the very least, he is angry about being tricked, so have extra care for yourself. Maybe you should have brought Ahmla with you.”

  “We’ll be safe enough for now, if only because of how suspicious it would look if anything were to happen to any of your suitors.”

  “True.” Shanna wasn’t terribly convinced.

  Kallaar started to speak but hesitated before finally saying, “You could always say that we exchanged letters as children, and I came the first time to surprise you with a visit, and we’ve been keeping up a discreet affair all these years. Surely that would lessen his anger at least some small measure.”

  “Maybe.” Shanna’s heart, which had just calmed to a reasonable pace, started racing again. It would hardly be the first time she’d dallied with someone, though always with foreign lords and ladies she wasn’t likely to see again and weren’t powerful enough to snag Mercen’s interest. Every now and then, he bid her flirt with someone, but he’d never actually suggested or ordered she sleep with anyone. She had never questioned the good fortune. “It’s certainly worth trying, if you are willing to go along with such a deception.”

  “I think I’ve proven I am always up for mischief.”

  “You probably get in a great deal of trouble, too.” Shanna patted the bench beside her. “Come and sit with me, then, because I find it hard to believe a longtime lover of mine would not want to be close to me after months apart.”

  Smiling slowly and a little wickedly, Kallaar replied, “Ah, Highness, do not force me to endure such a torment, for I would be unable to resist suggesting we put on a good show for that soldier not doing a terribly good job of spying, and I am trying to behave.”

  Her heart was going to pop. Kallaar might not have any real interest in marrying her, but she wasn’t averse to enjoying what he was clearly offering, no matter what she’d tried to tell herself earlier. Surely a little bit of fun in a quiet garden would do no harm. “If I was interested in good behavior, I wouldn’t be here. Come and join me.”

  Kallaar’s wicked smile widened as he rose smoothly from the ground and sat next to her, so close their thighs pressed together and she could feel his heat through the thick layers of her dressing robe. He looked up at her through long lashes, and yes, even in the dark, with only scattered lanterns and moonlight to lend visibility, he had a generous smattering of freckles on his nose and cheeks. Shanna wanted to kiss every one of them.

  For the moment, she settled for that naughty mouth. He tasted like brandy, cinnamon, and honey. He slid one hand into her hair, using just the right mix of gentle and firm as he deepened the kiss but never overtook it. The last few men she’d kissed hadn�
��t wasted any time in asserting their strength and supposed dominance.

  Making soft noises of pleasure and approval, she grabbed his other hand and rested it on her shoulder. There were other things they were meant to be doing, but for just a moment she wanted to enjoy this pretty prince who’d come to serve her.

  His hand slipped beneath her robe and pushed it off her shoulder, and his calloused fingers skated over her arm, back up to her shoulder, and down to brush over her breast. Shanna moaned into his mouth and kissed him harder, tongue exploring every dip and crevice, determined to taste and memorize every hollow and curve of his mouth. His scruff scraped roughly, but pleasantly. She twined her arms around his neck as he bared the other shoulder and lavished attention on both breasts.

  Tearing away, Kallaar dipped his head to put his mouth where his fingers had already been. He dragged his tongue across one nipple, then moved to suck the other one, his fingers cupping and stroking gently.

  Shanna moaned again and impatiently pushed at him, until she was able to break free and straddle him properly. Chuckling, he leaned against the wall behind them, fingers dropping to work deftly at the knot of her robe. He paused only to give her an intent look, and once she’d murmured “yes” against his mouth, he pulled the knot loose and slipped his hands inside her robe. One hand returned to her breasts, while the other dipped lower to stroke and rub at her damp folds and sensitive clit.

  He took her mouth again, moaning as she bit eagerly at his lips and sucked on his tongue, hips pushing her harder into his touch, fingers clenched in his hair as she panted and gasped and pleaded. Pushing one finger deep inside her, thumb rubbing firmly at her clit, he kissed her and whispered, “It’s an honor to serve a lovely princess,” as she shuddered in his arms.

  She kissed him more softly as she calmed, sliding a hand between their bodies to touch his crotch, and drew back with a pout when he captured her wrist and forced it to still.

  “Don’t you want—?”

  “Oh, you have no idea how very badly I want,” Kallaar said with a rough laugh. “But I am here for you, and there are still matters we must address.”

  “I don’t see why we can’t spend a few more minutes on pleasure. I want to see you come. Do I need to make it an order?” His cock twitched, and Shanna laughed huskily. “I see I do. I want your pants open.”

  He let go of her wrist and fumbled open his breeches.

  After pushing his hand out of the way, Shanna drew out his cock and ran a thumb over the wet tip. He moaned, head falling back, and she leaned in to suck eagerly at his throat, low enough that if she left a mark his clothes would hide it. She stroked hard and fast, muffling his groans and pleas with more kisses. They were all the better now they tasted only of the two of them. “Yes, this is exactly what I wanted. You’re rather lovely yourself, Kallaar.”

  He came with another long groan, arms like bands around her as he shuddered.

  When their breathing had evened out, he let go and drew back enough to pull out a kerchief. Holding her wrist, he licked her messy hand clean, making her shiver and ache all over again. After wiping her hand, he cleaned himself, tucked away his cock, and balled up the kerchief before banishing it to his pocket.

  Draping one arm around his shoulders, she leaned in and said, “I suppose we must resume business. I am honored you and your father find me worth such trouble and risk.”

  He scoffed. “Your mother did much for us, and we have long desired to return the favor. All that aside, I would never mind being summoned to fight for and protect so fine a princess. So fine a queen. We have always quietly kept watch, to ensure no action need be taken, though at times it was hard to mind our business. We feared the courtship would drive your stepfather to drastic measures, and that more direct protection was finally necessary, and so here we are. Whatever you would like us to do, you’ve only to say. We are here to serve and protect.”

  “My stepfather holds power because he has the council in his pocket. I need those men rendered powerless or otherwise removed, though I prefer to avoid violent methods. I have information on all of them; I simply lack the ability to do anything with the knowledge.”

  “Get the information to me, and we’ll take care of it.”

  Shanna nodded. “Tomorrow is the luncheon. I’ll give you my notes on the first three then. In the meantime, see that rumors are spread of us being longtime secret lovers. That should cover the frequency with which we’ll be seen together despite it being against the rules of the courtship.”

  “That won’t cause you problems with the other suitors?”

  “Hardly,” Shanna replied. “Most are only here as a courtesy, the same way they were only invited as a courtesy. The rest are here because my stepfather demanded it, and I don’t care what they think. They won’t act without my stepfather’s permission, even if they do get upset. Anyone else bothered by my rule breaking doesn’t have the power to do anything about it.”

  “As you wish, Highness.”

  She kissed him again, unable to resist the temptation, then slid off his lap and closed her robe. Pitching her voice so the guards would be certain to overhear, she said, “Goodnight, Highness. I will see you on the morrow. I’m sure I need not remind you to keep this moment private.”

  He bowed his head low. “You need not, Highness. I hope you sleep well.”

  “The same to you. Goodnight.” Shanna hastened back to her room, closing and bolting the door behind her.

  The guard who’d shadowed her would no doubt report to her stepfather first thing in the morning, and rumors would be all over the castle by lunch. Nobody spilled a secret more eagerly than a guard expected to keep them.

  Thoughts of guards and secrecy took her mind to the handsome Ahmla. Had he been around somewhere? Kallaar had said he was asleep, but she highly doubted that, if he was as faithful a friend and guard as he’d always seemed. Had he watched them or looked away until they’d finished? Shanna touched her tongue to her top lip as inappropriate fantasies spun through her mind, hot and sweet—and never to be. Leaving aside that Kallaar and Ahmla would likely never agree to such a thing, whomever she chose as her consort would have to be somebody her stepfather did not think would be better off dead.

  In the meantime, she would have to convince Mercen that Kallaar was a harmless amusement and nothing more.

  Well, matters could be much worse. Stifling a sigh, Shanna headed to her bed to find sleep, though as often as not all she found was restlessness and bad dreams.

  Chapter Two

  “Are you going to tell me what is going on with you and that prince who has been lying his way into my castle all these years?” Mercen asked in that soft, dangerous tone Shanna had learned swiftly to avoid provoking at all costs.

  “Kallaar? He’s a boy who likes to play games. His parents want him to be one thing; he’s quite firm about being another. He’s been traveling incognito all these years and asked me to keep his secret.”

  Mercen eyed her. “Have you been fucking him this whole time?”

  “Not every time he’s passed through, but when the opportunity presented, why not?” Shanna gave a biting smile. “I will soon be married, and I’ve had precious little chance to play. Were you so different at my age?”

  He sighed, annoyed but unable to argue because he had started as her mother’s lover and only later been considered as a consort and had been lover to several others in court before that. “I hope you’re not planning to marry him.”

  She scoffed. “Of course not. He’s fun to dally with, but a man who ran off because he didn’t like the duties he’d been given? Not really the marriable type.”

  “Who are you considering?” His eyes held a hard shine in the dim early morning light bleeding through the office window. Since her mother’s death, every bit of bad news in her life had been delivered in that office.

  Mercen wasn’t rotten in manner and was rarely rotten in means. Her life would be so much easier, in some ways, if he were the sort of bast
ard to scream and hit and leave a trail of bodies on his way to achieving his goals. But he wasn’t. Instead, Mercen was charming and kindly, bribed more often than he threatened, and was nearly always so cordial it was difficult for his victims to fully comprehend what was happening. Hard to say a man was evil when he never did anything but smile. The worst was the way he helped problems disappear and put people in his debt, and they realized too late he’d only helped them into a sticky web to be eaten at his leisure.

  “Hanna, Berryn, Korth, Tuluna, and Cerrithi are my top choices,” she said. “I’ll whittle that down to one by the end of the two weeks.”

  “It would be better if you closed this matter in one week and sent the others on their way,” Mercen said idly. “No point in dragging it out. Not Hanna or Berryn. Korth might be passable, though I have heard troubling things about his family recently. Tuluna, maybe. Why Cerrithi?”

  Because Cerrithi was from a small but strong and highly respected kingdom, slightly too powerful to be killed off without serious repercussions. And should Mercen decide to kill Shanna instead, she rather thought Cerrithi would step up and not let herself be pushed around or bullied into subjugation—especially if Shanna managed to produce a child first. Cerrithi was damned fierce when it came to children. She was placid otherwise, but there were worse things for consorts to be.

  Shanna pushed away thoughts of a pretty prince with freckles who spoke so sweetly of serving and protecting, and called her a lovely queen, and knew exactly how to touch and seemed to enjoy doing so. Infatuation and lust were poor bases for making sound decisions.

  There was also the fact Mercen would have no compunctions about killing Kallaar. No, she needed to pick a consort Mercen would take for a pliable fool rather than an expendable one, who would help her finally get rid of him.